Depression Women Sadness Teenager Violence Crying Emotional StressI often write from experiences that I have in my daily life to illustrate the power of the mind and this week I am getting up close and personal on my love life!

I am dating at the moment. On a dating website. I have had a few unsuccessful dates which didn’t last longer than one drink or one cup of tea, and then a few Saturday’s ago I arranged to meet a man for coffee. Coffee turned to lunch, turned to afternoon tea and we left each other eight hours later. We instantly clicked and got on as if we had always known each other.

By the end of the date, whilst I was there with him, I had a gut feeling that despite an instant mental connection there was no emotional chemistry and decided that he would make a great friend but not a potential partner. I let him know how I felt that night.

Then I woke up the next morning and the part of me that wants to be in a relationship started telling me a story- “Suppose you have been too hasty”. So we talked again and we agreed to meet up for a second date but due to both our busy schedules it would be in a couple of weeks.

Over the course of the week that followed we spoke a lot by text message and a couple of times on the phone and I found myself starting to feel differently. Maybe he could be someone who I could have a relationship with. I was noticing that all the self-talk I was having about who he was, who he might be, who we might be together based on words on a screen, was having an effect on my feelings and I started to feel a tangible emotional connection- without him even needing to be in the same room!

The point I am making is this-

We can talk our self into feeling something and we can talk our self back out again, and it has very little to do with the person, or the circumstance, or the event and is based entirely on the created experience via our own thinking and imagination.

I wondered how many times in the past I had talked myself into seeing something in a certain way only to find that it was merely a mental construct, and how many other people are wasting energy on trying to deal and cope with circumstances, built on mental constructs.

We do well in reality. When we are there, in a live event, and we have a quite mind we know what to do. We have access to our wisdom when we don’t have a head full of thought; our gut feelings, that deep knowing. Where we come a cropper is when we live through our imagination because then we are only experiencing our illusion. To access this wisdom all we need to do is get quiet and drop out of our thinking. Good sense and insight rarely comes from a noisy mind.