I would like you to make a list of what causes you stress. Where does the stress in your life come from?
It wouldn’t take a crystal ball to work out that for most of you it will include a selection of the following-
My job/ workload. My boss/colleagues/staff.
My girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband. My lack of relationship/ my relationship. My children/ because I don’t have children. My bank account. My travel to work/working from home. My schedule. My house move. My divorce/separation/wedding.
Anything that is not how I would like it to be and that I currently feel I have no control over.
Anything I don’t think I am good at and things I don’t think I can do.
My future/ my past.
The common denominator in all these circumstances are that they are things happening outside of you or that you feel you have little or no control over. They are things that you believe are happening too you.
Here is MY list of what causes me to feel stress-
The common denominator in my list is that it happens inside me and, although I don’t have any control over the thoughts that arise, I can become aware of which ones I am taking seriously and getting an experience from. And I am not the victim of them because I am creating them. When you know about how life works it becomes a bit like seeing through a magic trick- it doesn’t look believable; equally why you can’t tickle yourself, because when you try to get a reaction it doesn’t have the same effect.
Our feelings are very intimate to us and feel real. They come and go depending on our state of mind. You can’t make an appointment with them because they are transitory experiences coming from thought in the moment. Thinking they come from things outside us is a simple misunderstanding.
You see there have been a few other misunderstandings that we have innocently fallen into in the past. In the past we believed the earth was flat. In the past we believed that the sun went round the earth. In the past we believed that we could get ill from smelling bad smells. And that all looked really real and we all believed in it. Until we knew otherwise. And then there was a paradigm shift from a new understanding.
What I speak about is fundamental to how life works and if more of us saw how life works there would be an end to stress, an end to broken relationships, an end to a lot of ill health, an end to addictions, an end to conflict….an end to many tricks of the mind that we get fooled by.
What I aim for in my writing is for you to get a sense of hope. To begin to see that life doesn’t need to be felt as stressful and that well-being, peace and freedom are yours when you allow your mind to settle and self-correct.