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There is a stage after powerful personal transformation work that can be surprisingly uncomfortable. You’ve had the shift, the realisation, the rewiring. You’ve shed the skin, done the unbecoming and crossed some kind of threshold, and yet somehow you can find yourself thinking thoughts that seem to belong to the person you were before all…
What I am burning down!
I’m burning down patience that quietly asks me to abandon my own truth. I’m burning down the idea that insight alone creates change. I’m burning down understanding as a substitute for embodiment. I’m burning down explaining myself in order to feel safe or understood. I’m burning down softening truth to protect connection. I’m burning down…
Safety WITH not Safety FROM
One of the clearest understandings to emerge for me is this. Healing is not about creating safety FROM life. It is about discovering safety WITH life. Not safe FROM uncomfortable feelings. But safe WITH uncomfortable feeling. For a long time, I believed safety meant protecting and avoiding. Avoiding discomfort, preventing conflict, and managing situations so…
Relationship Scarcity
When we have been single for a long time and then we meet someone who seems interested in us it is very easy for relationship scarcity to creep in. Thoughts like “I’ve got to make this one work because I might not meet anyone better” or “I have to stay in this relationship because I…
People pleasing
Everytime you say Yes, when really you want to say No, notice what it is that you are trying to get with that Yes…do you want someone to find you desirable, do you want someone’s approval, do you want to feel attractive to someone….do you fear being rejected in some way if you say No?…
Alive but not living
There is so much that is difficult to look at and hear about happening in the world right now. Whilst I don’t bury my head in the sand, I am also acutely aware that if I lose myself in the sadness and injustice, that it can affect my field of influence and those things that…
It’s okay to not feel okay…..
Unless you are walking around with your head in the sand at the moment, it’s a pretty challenging time to be feeling okay with the world. You only have to put the television on for five minutes, or read something on social media to get caught up in a thought storm that can lead to…
Is it safe to love another when you are insecure?
Insecurity in a relationship is destructive Have you ever experienced analysing every look, every word said and unsaid, every behaviour, on constant red alert trying to keep yourself safe from loss, from rejection and from pain? The constant chameleon act. Adapting yourself to another’s preferences, to their hobbies and values. Always putting them first, terrified…
What actually is it that you do?
I was asked this question this week and it made me think about how to describe what I actually do. And this was what I came up with- It is a supported process of change, working alongside someone to help them have significant breakthroughs in their life coming from a greater self-understanding. This allows people…
What do you need to let go of?
As I write this post, it is Autumn Equinox, also known in the pagan calendar as Mabon. Let’s look outside, to nature, for the clues as to what is in flow for us to be doing at this time of year? This is the time of the second harvest. The time to really celebrate the…