Well-Being Coaching for Women

Alison Heather Sutton

07713 626673

alison@alisonheathersutton.co.uk

You are as stuck as you think you are

A lot of clients come to me because they are feeling stuck. There is a sense that they want change. They are dissatisfied with their relationship, their job, their life, feeling lack-lustre and as if the really ought to be more to life than the mundane 9-5 eat, sleep, repeat life.

So, let’s examine the word stuck.

We tend to use the word stuck when we are talking about something we are not enjoying- i.e. I am stuck in a ……. which I don’t enjoy. (Insert your own word).

We rarely say the word stuck in relation to something we are enjoying- we wouldn’t say I am stuck here watching this beautiful sunset, or I am stuck eating this delicious meal.

We give the poor old word “stuck” a negative connotation and believe it to be a limitation and something we have little to no choice over changing.

We look around at our circumstances, whatever they might be and however extreme they are, and we have a thought “I am stuck”, we activate that thought, give it some energy and attention, and an experience and a feeling of stuckness is created.

There is a situation, and then there is the meaning we give to a situation and the meaning we give it will be how we will experience it.

But, for those of you who have been reading this newsletter for a while will know now, just because a thought is in your head, it doesn’t mean it’s true….which is kind of one of my “catch phrases”.

I was chatting in the kitchen with my stepdaughter just now and we were talking about casting spells and how we cast spells with our words on a moment to moment basis. She had a rather unpleasant experience recently of being in a pub and someone coming up to her telling her she had dark energy inside her.

When something like that happens, we are at a moment of choice.

We can take those words and run with them and start to knit ourselves a blanket of meaning from them….going something like this-

“She can see dark energy in me, I wonder what she is seeing. It must mean that I am thinking negative thoughts, or that part of me is evil. Maybe that means I need to go and get some help, or maybe it means I have an illness coming and that was what she could see. Maybe I shouldn’t be here at this pub and maybe I should just go home because I clearly am an energetic bad influence on those around me”…….etc etc etc. And then we might lie awake at night wondering what she meant and what it all means about us.

The spell has been cast.

Or, we can take those words and think “that‘s an interesting perspective”, and move on.

The credence we give to another’s words, and the credence we give to our own thoughts should be of the same weight- absolutely none.

We are casting spells on our self when we start to believe in our own thinking, and from them arise outcomes, from which behaviours happen.

So, back to the word “stuck” and how we can cast a spell over our self using that word, activating that thought, and then creating an experience of stuckness.

When we have activated a thought, a believable experience of that thought cannot help BUT be created. And whilst we are caught up in thinking about our stuckness we do not have access to the wisdom and clarity that resides within each and every one of us- the wisdom that already knows what the next right thing to do is, that speaks from our heart, that is connected to our soul. And we are all made of this wisdom, without exception.

So, let’s apply this to a real-life circumstance.

The following is an excerpt from an email that was sent to me that I have permission to share-

“I seem to have lost my way. I’ve been so busy orchestrating and facilitating other people’s lives and now there’s just a space. A horrible space, that won’t go away. I feel as if I should be having the time of my life but instead I’m terrified of the discontent. All I can point to is a vague feeling of discontent, in-authenticity and lack of meaningful fulfilment. The world tells me I’m at my career and life pinnacle, then why does it feel so worthless? But how do I even start that process? How can you understand and then act? I feel so stuck”

The spell has been cast.

A blanket of meaning has knitted an experience from thought.

Just for a moment imagine removing “believed in thoughts” from the above paragraph.

What different experience do you imagine that person might be free now to create?

How might that person see their circumstances now, without changing their circumstances?

What might it free them up to be do and have?

We are as stuck as we think we are.

As I wrote this I thought to myself I bet there will be a lot of opposition to this week’s blog post.

I could almost hear some of you saying, “Yes but you don’t understand my situation Alison, I REALLY AM STUCK. What a load of nonsense you speak”, and I am really not here to dispute that it may really feel to you as if you are stuck.
But what I am here to tell you is this-

Having an understanding of how life works running in the background, understanding how we are creating our moment to moment experience, the spells we are casting with our “thoughts believed” makes such a huge frikkin difference!

It releases our creativity, it releases our ability to see our “problems” differently, it allows us to notice the beauty in everything around us, is allows us to connect with our resilience and attunes us to our own inner wisdom and our heart, as our mentor and guide…..irrespective of circumstances.

And then, when thoughts of being stuck have fallen away, we know what to do next, to create the change we desire, to move forward with our lives, connected to our heart and living our highest calling. And we are okay with what is and may not need to change anything either!

If there is one thing I wish the world could know it is, that we are all living in our personal, emotional experience based on the thoughts we are believing to be true in that moment.

The Principal of Thought.

If you would love to explore this understanding in more depth please get in touch and ask me any questions you like.

I will also be giving you details of a webinar coming up soon, and…..drum roll……”An Emerging” (the opposite of a Retreat) that I will be co-running with a wonderful artist friend Lou Theodore, who’s work you can look at here- https://www.loudraws.co.uk/ happening in September in Tuscany.

More details to follow soon, but if you read this and it feels good to you, pencil the last week of September in your diary ♥

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