Am reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle at the moment and can thoroughly recommend his book “A New Earth”. It is evolving my understanding and confirming a lot of what NLP and Mindfulness techniques have taught me.
Our ego is simply our conditioned mind patterns which are delivered to us as thoughts….and what is good about that is- we are not our thoughts; we can learn to move beyond our thoughts when we recognize them for what they are, which is especially useful if they are not creating happiness, peace and joy.
The voice we hear in our head who is narrating our thoughts is also not us- we are the observer and listener to those thoughts that present themselves through our ego, pattern matching to previous past experiences that created the embedded conditioned mind patterns in the first place.
WE in this present moment actually are simply, awareness, aware of the thoughts we are hearing.
When we can really live as that, we glimpse freedom, freedom to move beyond the old thought patterns and free ourself from any restrictions created by the ego/mind and live our evolutionary potential.
Our old patterns/habits/ways of thinking/beliefs our “ego stories”, are deeply embedded in our mind through strong neurological connections made after we have experienced an event and given it meaning and we allow these to mostly define and shape us, as we carry them around for our entire incarnation ; we think we are them and therefore we become them, we make up our identity based upon who we “think” we are and become our thoughts and if we stay stuck with this particular set of made up thoughts and stories we struggle to move beyond them and create lasting change.
It is a bit like when books we have read are sat on our book shelf, all the stories exist inside them still, but they are no longer something we are currently reading. Our pattern matching ego will sometimes choose to take a book down and refer back to an old story to understand something that it’s currently trying to work out, maybe to even try to work out how we can return to an old way of being that felt comfortable, but this is a flawed way of understanding our present and not really very useful to our evolution.
On those shelves there may be books we read as a child or as a teenager, stories that we have kept and moved around with us as we have moved house, relationships, jobs etc. We think we remember the contents really well but when we do get them down and re-read them the chances are we see them through different eyes as they generally mean something completely different to us now, because we have changed through new life experiences and every time we re-read them we make up another version. That is how our memory works.
The old stories are actually redundant. The old made up meanings and reality does not exist anymore, except as a limitation in our mind, so re-playing it, re-constructing and repeatedly pattern matching it with our ego-mind and re-membering it by talking about it for hours, referring back to it, just puts it back together in a different shape like blimmin’ Humpty Dumpty and brings it back into our present and even if we end up putting the book back on the shelf with a different title, it is still there. Do it once, to erase the old title or replace it with a new book. If matching circumstances keep showing up in your life there is a clue that you have not written a new version yet.
The only important question is “what do we want instead” and in order to get that, how can we create/make up something different and more useful that will allow us to have the outcomes we want. The second important question is to look at how we created the structure of what we previously made up to find out how we can make up something else that is more useful to us. Re – reading the old story nostalgically does not give us any clues to that unless we look from the perspective of “how” it was written in the first place. The structure, not the content.
If we have stories that are still not working for us we have to look at HOW we keep re-creating them in order that we don’t keep making up more useless shite to keep pattern matching with old stories. Unless we look at the structure of how we are doing what we are doing and change that, nothing else changes. We get stuck in repeating patterns.
Also old books accumulate and become heavy to cart around. I wonder how many of you have moved house and had to lift boxes of books or stuff that you have just put straight into your attic and not even opened again, each time you have moved? You think you remember the contents, you think you need to hold on to them, you think they define you but all they actually do is clutter up your attic and get even heavier to move. Pass them on, give them to charity, sell them. Do you really need them anymore?
Until we can get out of our mind and stop re-reading our old stories we remain weighed down by them. They books still exist but we don’t have to read them, we don’t even have to own them anymore. We can create new strong neurological connections to more useful stories just by our point of focus and what we are paying attention too now and whether we are giving useful meaning to our experiences that allows us to grow.
We can sit in a restaurant and all sorts of conversations can be going on around us. We can tune in and listen to whichever conversation we want too if our hearing is good enough, we can even move tables if we want to get closer and hear something more intently but is what you are listening too relevant or worth anything to you? It can all keep chattering on in the background we just don’t have to pay attention to it.
Switch your point of focus away from your past, unless of course you want to keep all your old stories ;0) Move your point of focus to your future and make up something fun and new……and even though awareness tells me that it is not real, it is just a story, it is one I would prefer to experience in this present moment.
DID YOU KNOW?… The Three Principles based approach to coaching I now follow is all about getting you to see, for yourself, the inside out nature of the human experience. And seeing (and feeling) that life works from the Inside Out is truly transformational!