A letter to my daughter

Relationships-

People come and people go
Things come and things go
Nothing is permanent
Everything is temporary
When we try to hold on to things we will always end up hurting
There will be let down and disappointment
Saying “my” boyfriend and “my” girlfriend
We are trying to own someone and we never can
Know that.

You always want to understand when things go wrong
You never will
Be okay with that. Be okay with not knowing.
You will always want an answer
You will never get the answer you want
Be okay with that.
We will never understand another person
Most of the time we won’t even understand ourself
We can never get inside another person’s head
Don’t cause yourself suffering by trying.
It is never about you
What other people say and do is because of what is going on in the stories in their head
It is never anything to do with us
Know this.

You will feel broken into a million pieces
You never are.
Nothing has actually happened to you
Some of your thoughts and dreams may be broken
But you are not your thoughts and dreams
They come and go too
They are also not permanent.
You will, in time, have new thoughts and dreams
And they will come and go too
Know that.

Know that whatever happens
WHATEVER happens
You will always be okay
Because really nothing happened
And you are still whole
Still complete
Still safe
Still secure
You have not abandoned you
You are still there for you
And one day you will see how strong and amazing you are.
You will see that you have everything you need already
There is nothing you need from anyone outside you
And there is no-one that can take that away from you
Know this with all your heart.

And love those parts of you that don’t know this
They will catch up one day.
Just keep loving every experience because it gets you closer to this day.
And life will continue to look as if it is not fair
Until you start to see it differently
And until you learn these things
And know it is just life happening
Taking you from one moment to the next moment
And we never know what the next moment will hold.

So take the short cut
The path of least resistance
And know all this now
Save yourself years of suffering from your own stories and your own thoughts
Because like clouds in the sky they always pass.
And the sun always shines again.

Love you
Mumma xxxxxxxx