Today is officially Spring Equinox a full Moon and for those of you who know what this means, it is also Mercury Retrograde! Phew…..are you feeling it?
It is essentially a time when all our past hurts, wounds and ego stories come knocking on the door and want to sit down and have a cuppa with us and never has this been so true for me as it has been this past couple of weeks building up to this time.
Most of you know I have been coaching alongside a part-time job for the past seven years. Three weeks ago I left the comfort blanket behind and went all in…and OMG have my wounded parts been trying to get my attention.
They came with their stories about how I won’t be able to earn enough money.
They came with their stories of comparison and telling me I am not good enough.
They came with their stories of how no one is going to be interested in what I have to offer.
They were positively rude….rude I tell you!
And yet I still put the kettle on and sat and listened to them!!
I meditate everyday for at least an hour, and they were even barging in on that until I got them to sit quietly in the corner.
I seriously feel like I have been managing a group of five year old’s!
And then this morning in my meditation it came to me that I didn’t need to do this anymore.
I am safe, always have been and always will be.
So, here’s the thing- just because these youngsters come to visit and want to talk to me doesn’t mean they know anything about who I am. They don’t know anything about my future. And they know absolutely zilch about how successful my business is going to be.
They are motivated to keep me safe and nothing more, by using old strategies and stories to keep me in my comfort zone.
But here’s the difference-
I am the space they showed up in, but I am not them!
I am bigger than any of my stories from yesterday.
I love that they showed up. I listened to them so they felt heard and it has had me step more fully into embracing them and loving them, and this is where most coaches and change workers will tell you to stop, and that loving them is enough.
But for those of us who have had children we know that if we indulge toddlers in their behaviours and don’t put them straight it can keep them fixed in their bad habits.
I’m not saying be Super Nanny! I don’t think she gets it right personally…I am all for a bit of tough love but in a gentle and respectful way.
What I have been practising is conscious communication with them.
Our core beliefs, the one’s locked down in childhood are the hardest to shift. They form the trunk of the tree if you like, from which the other beliefs grow out of as branches and then leaves form on those branches….our secondary beliefs created as a result of our core belief.
We can spend years on the personal development road, thinking we are doing “the work” but then one day we notice that our lives still look them same. Unless we address these deep fixed beliefs our world may never really change that much. We may still repeat the same relationship patterns, we may still have the same amount of money in our bank account and may still be doing the same sort of job.
My 5 year old’s came to visit because I stepped out of my comfort zone, and changed channels to a bigger version of me.
They protested because they wanted to keep me safe.
I am going to be making a video about this in the next couple of days, so if you are interested in hearing how to have conscious communication with your 5 year old’s watch out for it.
In the meantime, I wish you all the blessings of Spring and the energies of new growth and new beginnings.
Maybe now would be a good time to deal with your 5 year old’s?