Before and after Transformational Relationship Coaching
I am the adopted child of an adopted child and for most of my life lived with the pain of having no idea about who I was, where I had come from, why I felt like I did and why I kept repeating destructive patterns in relationships, when all I wanted was to love and be loved.
I had what on the outside looked like a successful life, but on the inside I had no sense of self worth, no self esteem and was so eaten up by insecurity that I needed to exert a sense of control over those I loved in order to feel safe.
I lived with a sense of something missing my entire life and looked to people, places and things to try and fill it.
I had thought I would just have to live with the feeling of not being able to trust, and therefore sabotaging relationships before I got rejected again. Intrinsically I felt I was damaged and that the trauma of my past was a wound too big to heal and that the best I could expect was to feel ok most of the time, except when I didn’t because I was living in fear.
I thought I was unable to sustain intimate relationships because the insecurity was so all consuming that it pushed men away.
I had years of failed relationships, difficulty in communication and making un-healthy choices; night laid awake unable to stop my mind going over and over what had happened.
And then one day in my coach training I came across an understanding that changed everything.
“You are not insecure, you just think you are” was what I heard, and that came as a bolt from the blue.
As I dug deeper into these Principles I realised that, via my capacity to think, I was continuing all of the feelings myself and creating my life experience in this moment- no one else was doing it to me! I also understood that this was just an experience I was having but that there was another part of me that was, and always had been ok; that I wasn’t damaged, I was just seeing life, people and circumstances through a veil of insecurity that I was perpetuating and when that veil was lifted the same people and circumstances looked completely different and therefore my experience of them was different.
And life changed forever. Yes, I still get moments when I forget and dive into the feelings again but I am no longer scared of feeling them because I know they will pass and won’t consume me and eat me up, and so all of the energy I used to use to avoid feeling is released to do other things. I can identify when I am acting out of my insecurities and taking my thinking seriously and I also have a very deep knowing that whatever happens I will be ok so I spend a lot more time hanging out in a very different way of thinking and seeing the world.
The programme that I have developed, brings all of my training and life experience together so you too can transform your life and find love, happiness and peace of mind.
Transformational life coaching: I would love you to realise just how amazing you really are.
I am a fully qualified and insured INLPTA accredited Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and a Three Principles based coach (transformational relationship and life coach), working in Bath and internationally on-line.
And when I am not doing this-
I live in Bath with my lovely husband who is an artist. I love to cook and bake and am a bit of a foodie. I enjoy writing and recently wrote a chapter for a book called ” Thirteen Women, An Anthology” . I wrote for Bath Weekend Magazine for a year as their life coach and am currently writing a book called “Five things to give fewer fu@*s about”. I like observational humour- people like Russell Brand and Tim Minchin. I love the woods, my favourite place to walk and lose myself. Other passions include dancing, music, baking bread, River Cottage, my MX5, being in nature, and fire, I love watching fire. Oh, and I am a Guinness World Record holding Skydiver!
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