I was looking for a quote this afternoon and turned to a book that I have worked a lot with in the past, back in the day when I was working at Chalice Well.
The book is called Light Upon the Path and it is a collection of the unpublished writing of Wellesley Tudor Pole who founded the Chalice Well Trust.
In December 1910 he wrote this-
“Your attitude to all outward events determines their power over you.
If you wish to rob circumstances and your environment of their pretentions to enslave, you must alter your standpoint towards them.
The greatest force circumstances can wield over you, is the force you infuse into it.”
It is so easy to forget this very important understanding. Having just got of a call with my coach, talking about building my business, towards the end of the call he shone a light for me on some thinking I had got caught up in and where I had innocently lost my way in thinking my circumstances were creating my feelings.
Any of you that have followed me for a while will know I am an all or nothing kind of girl! So here I am going all in with my business, leaping out of bed in the mornings, eager to see what the day brings and what I can create….or at least that was the case for the first few weeks!
Then I was unwell for a couple of weeks and a fortnight passed without me doing very much and feeling under the weather. So then when it looked like the imaginary results that I had decided (aka made up!) would mean I was “succeeding” were not showing up I started to get a bit disheartened. And then I started to notice that I was feeling less enthusiastic about the day ahead and my creative flow got jammed! I love to write, and I have been used to waking up with an article, or a piece of writing, ready to come through me……and nothing was coming. I felt like I had dried up, that things were not going as “expected” and that meant that maybe this wasn’t the right thing for me to be doing after all. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for being a full-time coach. Maybe that is for other people and I am not the right sort of person to run my own business. Maybe I should re-think and look for a job. Maybe, maybe, maybe……and there I was, caught up in a misunderstanding that my feelings were coming from my circumstances and that they had some useful information for me about my capabilities and my chosen career path that I am totally passionate about and can’t imagine ever doing anything else. And yet, with a head full of thought I was ready to write it off!
My coach very astutely asked me if there had been other things in my life that when they weren’t going as I had thought they would had I chucked them in? OMG was that a pattern revealed!!
My thinking about an imaginary measure of whether I was cut out for this profession, that I had made up in my head and then not met, knows absolutely f’ all about the future. They tell me f’ all about my abilities. Then have f’ all information about who is reading this and who I might be able to be of service to next. All they tell me is that I made something up! They are just a bunch of electro chemical reactions floating around in my head- nothing else!!
Thought is the creator of feeling. The feelings I had of re-registering with a recruitment agency were not and never can be caused by my circumstances. They were caused entirely by a string of thoughts I had knitted together and believed were real.
So, I wonder where in your life you might be caught in a misunderstanding? Where it looks to you as if circumstances are causing you to feel a certain way. Sit back and consider for a moment what thoughts you are believing in that you have made up and where you may have fallen down a rabbit hole that is telling you “something needs to change” in order for you to feel better.
Following the call and the realisation that this was just a rabbit hole of thinking I had fallen down I felt like my glasses had been cleaned and the smeary view I had been looking out through for a week or so was clean and bright again! Further proof really, because my circumstances hadn’t magically changed in that hour but the entire way I thought and felt about them had.
I love being coached and I love to coach. Sometimes there are things that we just can’t see on our own and the value in having them pointed at and examined is priceless. If anyone reading this would like to have a conversation to dive into where you might be looking through smeary glasses please do email me and let’s get it set up. We all need a bit of help from time to time.