(About Transformational Life Coaching!)
Warning- I swear a lot!!
For years I used every coping strategy I could not to feel because I thought the intensity of my painful emotions would swallow me up. I learnt a lot along the way about how to intellectualize away anything that caused me suffering or pain. I learnt how to manipulate my thinking, to re frame my thinking, to numb my feelings, to hide from them and to push down that horrible sick feeling in my stomach and those butterflies in my chest. And yet it never really went away.
Mostly I was really happy, very positive and optimistic, very peaceful and joyful………until I was in a relationship! And then up popped all of those fucking balloons that I had been holding down under water because I still had unresolved emotions that I hadn’t dealt with. All the stuffed down feelings coming up to choke me.
Years of not feeling good enough, of feeling undesirable, of feeling insecure all came rushing up to the surface and they hurt like fuck. Cool, calm, collected Coach that I was, suddenly ranting like a teenager that had just been dumped! Even though I hadn’t been!
I studied and qualified in all forms of self-development to help other people to numb themselves too, to help them to avoid suffering and not feel bad. Many modalities and ways to help people and myself to not feel their own made up stories……without realising that in doing so I was giving their stories and their feelings super powers. I was giving them credence and importance by paying attention to them, and even though on one level I totally knew they were all made up and that I was perfectly ok and so were you, we delved into avoiding and talking away all the messy, down and dirty, dark shadowy sides….. and sprinkled glitter on them.
And equilibrium would be restored, for a while. Peace of mind was back, I was only feeling my thinking and my capacity to think, none of it was real and had any meaning…..until it did and it hurt so fucking much that it brought me to my knees….and any amount of knowing the above just wasn’t helping.
And so one day I decided to feel it. I sat and I talked out loud. I let the part of me that was hurting speak all her hurt and pains, and I kept on and on and I cried and I shouted and my last sentence was “…..and he should understand” at which point I started laughing! I went into every nook and cranny of expressing her pain, to unleash her and let her out with all her old, old stories and after I did, she was no more! She went quiet and settled down.
Years of being scared of and avoiding my feelings, dealt with in an instant!
All that work for nothing! I just gave her a voice. I didn’t try to pacify her, or avoid her, I didn’t try to quieten her down or change her mind or tell her she was wrong. I just listened, until she and me both fell about laughing at just how fucking ridiculous she sounded!
So now, why would I want to help you avoid feeling? Avoid the opportunity of releasing yourself from the grip of painful emotions? because they can’t hurt you
Really, they can’t.
Because what I saw and what I know to be 100% true is that you are so whole, and so complete and so perfect already, without you needing to do anything. Even when you feel agitated, as if you are going to be sick, crying uncontrollably and you can’t sleep for the pain, you are still perfect. There is still nothing wrong.
I have had a series of spiritual awakening experiences over the past few years. In those moments I have seen that no matter what happens in my life I will always be ok. That I need nothing and no-one to create any kind of emotional state for me and that actually it’s not possible for anything outside of my physical form to create an emotional feeling inside my physical form. Only I can do that.
No-one is responsible for how I feel. It’s no one’s fault and I can’t blame anybody or give them credit either.
I saw that my default position was peace and joy and the only thing that ever got in the way of me seeing and experiencing that were my own long held on to made up stories.
Some people wait until they leave their physical body to see it. I was lucky that I saw the perfection of everything one night, totally out of the blue.
I would love to support you to not be afraid to feel. It is the most liberating thing even though it might scare the fuck out of you, it really is ok and I will hold your hand and support you every step of the way.
Change does takes time and commitment but what you give your energy to will grow, we get down into your body-feelings so you can break the thinking/feeling loop and create new outcomes for you to move towards, aligning your environment, behaviours, capabilities, beliefs, values, identity and purpose, so you can increase your confidence and colour in the canvas of the life you deserve.
Transformational life coaching: I want you to know you already have your own answers
The age of the guru is over. No-one knows you like you know yourself and we are all different. It is possible to optimize the use of your own mind and to get your mind-set, that creates all the outcomes in your life, changing and evolving.
I can guide you to claim your own self-empowerment, peace of mind and spiritual fulfillment and together we can work out the steps to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
Transformational life coaching: I would love you to realize how amazing you are and how you really can have a life you love.
You can create something different showing up in your world just by taking an honest look at your life and at what your mind has created and finding the difference that will make the difference~ and then showing up~ as wonderful amazing, deserving, worthy you!
I am a fully qualified and insured Hypnotherapist and INLPTA accredited Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and a Three Principles based coach (transformational life coach) currently mentored by Jamie Smart, working in Bath and Glastonbury.
And when I am not doing this-
I live in Glastonbury- the town, not the pop festival with my dog and my youngest daughter. I love to cook and bake and am a bit of a foodie. I enjoy writing and recently wrote a chapter for a book called ” Thirteen Women, An Anthology” . I like observational humour- people like Russell Brand and Tim Minchin. I love the woods, my favorite place to walk and lose myself. Other passions include Meditation, Mooji, baking bread, River Cottage, music, my MX5, being in nature, and fire, I love watching fire. Oh, and I am a Guinness World Record holding Skydiver!
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